December 04, 2006

Harry Reid Leads Inauguration Party

Cocked and Locked has managed to infiltrate a spy into the Democrat National Committee headquarters in Washington, DC. G. Gordon Liddy provided the training for our agent, and Colonel Oliver North, USMC (ret.) provided the equipment and weapons. Our agent has managed to infiltrate to the highest levels of the party, and has forwarded his first report. Following is the schedule the Democrats will use when they infest our Federal government in January.
7:00 PM Opening ceremonies. Guest Speaker Howard Dean will open with the Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations. God will be excluded by majority vote of those present.
7:05 PM Al Gore will burn George Bush in effigy.
7:10 PM Nancy Pelosi will lead in secret initiation chant. Recite along with her, "HIYA YAMA YAMA, MOOK TADA, MEKA LEKA HI MEKA HYNIE HO!"
7:20 PM Ted Kennedy will propose a toast.
7:30 PM Opening prayer to "The Generic god" shared by Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
8:00 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:10PM Ceremonial Tree Hugging. A moment of silence for the Spotted Owl. Al Gore will lead.
8:20 PM Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:30 PM Update on the "Free Saddam" rally, by syndicated New York Times reporter Cindy Sheehan
8:45 PM Speech on "The Educational Caliber of American Troops in Iraq" by Sen. J. Kerry
9:00 PM Ted Kennedy Proposes a toast
9:10 PM Guest Speaker President Jacques Chirac on "The History of Surrender"
9:25 PM Collection taken to benefit John Kerry's facelift
9:40 PM Ted Kennedy will attempt to propose a toast
9:45 PM Harry Reid lecture, "Why Democrats Must Lead the Socialist Movement"
9:50 PM "Excellence in Broadcasting" award presented to Michael Moore by Dan Rather. Rush will begin legal procedures the following day.
10:00 PM Lecture by Professor Churchill, "How George Bush Brought Down the Towers"
10:10 PM Special "Thank You" plaque awarded to ACLU Chairman
10:20 PM Hands-on demonstration, "The Proper Procedure to Launder Money" by William Jefferson Clinton
10:30 PM Lecture on freeing the oppressed at Guantanamo by Ruth Bader Ginsberg
10:45 PM Free gift handout-American flag and match to conduct your own flag burning
11:00 PM Installation of new Democrat Leadership
11:45 PM John Kerry poses for pictures under North Korean flag
12:00 PM Bill Clinton shares some private moments on film
12:30 PM Ted Kennedy will finish up any remaining alcoholic beverages
1:00 AM Ted Kennedy prepares to drive Hillary Clinton home
1:03 AM Bill Clinton leaves with barmaid for scheduled Victoria's Secret model auditioning lingerie party
1:30 AM Closing Ceremony. Barack Obama organizes cleanup crew

Our spy has risked his life to bring us this report. He is known by the code name "Herb." After this report, Herb has decided never to work for us again, it's too dangerous. Here is a transcript of our conversation:
Herb: Time's gettin' pretty short.
Kane: It sure is.
Herb: When are the other boys gonna get here? We gotta make plans.
Kane: The other boys? There aren't any other boys, Herb. It's just you and me.
Herb: (nervously smiles and chuckles) You're jokin'.
Kane: No, I couldn't get anybody.
Herb: I don't believe it. This town ain't that low.
Kane: I couldn't get anybody.
Herb: Then it's just you and me.
Kane: I guess so.
Herb: You and me against Reid and all the rest of them?
Kane: That's right. Do you want out, Herb?
Herb: Well, it isn't that I want out, no. You see. Look, I'll tell ya the truth. I didn't figure on anything like this, Will.
Kane: Neither did I.
Herb: I volunteered. You know I did. You didn't have to come to me. I was ready. Sure, I'm ready now - but this is different, Will. This ain't like what you said it was gonna be. This is just plain committing suicide and for what? Why me? I'm no lawman. I just live here. I got nothin' personal against nobody. I got no stake in this.
Kane: I guess not.
Herb: There's a limit how much you can ask a man. I got a wife and kids. What about my kids?
Kane: Go on home to your kids, Herb.
Marshal Will Kane

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September 23, 2006

F-14 Tomcat

A legend of American airpower retired yesterday. Oceana Naval Air Station in Virginia was the place chosen for the final flight of the F-14 Tomcat. For those of you not in the know, this marvel of American ingenuity and military might began service with the U.S. Navy and Air Force in 1972. For almost 35 years, this warplane defended our interests at sea and in far off countries. It was the most feared aircraft in the sky, and the Russians built larger and faster bombers in an attempt to avoid this monster. It is to be replaced with the F/A-18 Super Hornet. A memorial to the Tomcat will be erected at my old station, Oceana Naval Air Station in Virginia. While I never served with the Tomcat, the Phantom was front line in my day aboard the Enterprise during Viet Nam, it will always remain in my memories as the greatest warplane of my era. Good-bye, gallant warrior. You played a huge role in the downfall of the Soviet Evil Empire.

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October 07, 2005

Miss October 2005

Miss October is a 1966 Chevrolet Chevelle

Pure American blue-collar muscle. In my book she is queen of cars.

Send pics of the special "ladies" in your life. I'll post my favorite each month.

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September 11, 2005

Miss September 2005

Okay, so why not start a "thing".

Say hello to Miss September for 2005.

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August 24, 2005

Bobber

Let me set the record straight, I'm not a biker by any stretch of the imagination. I don't own a motorcycle. My wife literally bursts into tears when I even mention the idea of buying one. I'm sure I would be ridiculed by REAL bikers for being some kind of yuppie American Chopper watching poseur (guilty). However, my latest fantasy finds me dreamily scanning motorcycle websites and today this picture set me all breathless and wishy-washy.

Most men approaching their mid-thirties may get weak in the knees at the sight of an exotic sportscar but this little honey sets me on fire. She brings a tear to my eye. To whoever is lucky enough to own this gem, I hope that someday you meet that special someone. When you do, drop me an email, I'll be happy to take her off your hands (the bike that is).

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